The Premise: What You Think About Sex Begins with What You Believe About God

Carlene has been participating in a book launch for Dr. Juli Slattery’s book, Rethinking Sexuality. In this book, Dr. Slattery identifies 5 Building Blocks for a Biblical View of Sexuality. Carlene has used these 5 building blocks to share what our journey to sexual healing looked like. The 6th of Carlene’s live-feed videos to promote Rethinking Sexuality was removed from her timeline. Below, you can read the exact content of that video that was posted on July 18, 2018.



The Building Block that I’ll discuss today is actually the first one Juli Slattery discusses her book. The Premise for a Biblical view of sexuality, says Dr. Slattery, is that “what you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.” In our journey, a lot of time passed before I realized there were deeper questions behind my question of why God created sex. 

Years after that year of revelation (last, #5), I began to recognize that when I could answer the question of why God created sex, several things happened. Not only did it give me a reason to enjoy Greg and my sexual experience, having a Gospel view of sex drew us out of the unhealthy cycles, which had become our pattern and sex became a wholehearted experience that we consistently enjoyed!

When Greg faithfully returned to Ephesians 5:25 (#3), our relationship improved 100 fold, and I was glad! But my inability to enjoy sex ran deep. I couldn’t just decide to change how I felt. To participate remained a choice, and I’m sorry to say, sometimes a chore. Though our marriage had gotten better, I didn’t and still don’t have to look far to see brokenness, frustration, and abuse surrounding sexuality.  Before I could wholeheartedly embrace the beauty of sexual union, I needed answers for underlying questions like, “What about those for whom life isn’t getting better? Were sex and the physical drive, ever a truly good idea? Is God really all-knowing, that He would create such a thing? And if so, is He really good?”

To believe God is really good, I needed to understand the spiritual truths I’ve been sharing with you and to experience the relevance of Jesus and His relationship with the Church to even the heavy issues of life today.

Viewing the purpose of sex as a means of celebrating the Gospel changed our relationship at its core. That year of revelation changed not only what we believed about sex, it changed what we believed about God. Finding God in the bedroom, sex is no longer an issue of frustration and division. Instead, sex became the cement that unites us as one. In mutual sacrifice, we became convinced of God’s good purpose for the physical relationship because God renewed our relationship in a way that has never faded or grown old! We stopped becoming tired of trying to figure one another out, and our marriage became a supportive discovery of life that prioritizes both of us and God in a way that is new and fresh! 

We were finally on the same page! We’re convinced that God designed the Biblical picture AND sex to bring us back into the kind of unity we long for because we’ve experienced God’s goodness to do just that!  …beyond what we could have imagined! The intimacy of sexual unity reflects Him, the oneness of the Trinity. It also requires us to live out in the flesh Jesus way of sacrificing our personal agenda to nurture healthy relationships.

Now, in the realities of life, I’m able to see a battle set against my belief that God is good. It’s a battle set against experiencing my God-given potential to celebrate His image. And it’s a struggle against image bearers living as one body to support one another in any life circumstance as we await the ultimate wedding day when we’ll realize the fullness of our God-given potential.

I know for some of you this sounds really far-fetched. But I can tell you, the renewal we’ve experienced is real! I see the pain around me, I hate the abuse and brokenness. And I’ll walk through any door the Lord opens to address the heartache. But I’m not going to allow my joy to be stolen! Greg and I share equally in our commitment to come together as one. 

We’re able to worship God by enjoying one another! And I’ll stand on this belief forever, because I know, as I know, as I know, that God really is good, to spite it all!